Day 3: Intentions, Extensions and Repetitions

7 am – I wake up feeling pretty good, it’s been a while since I’ve been back in acute care – mostly have been at the diabetes center the last month. Felt pretty excited to see the gang back at the hospital. Day 3, that’s nearly half way through the week! Tired and missing my coffee, but still pretty proud of things so far. Plus, I had gotten raisins yesterday – so I’m excited for breakfast (sounds kind of silly to be looking forward to plain oats and a teaspoon of raisins… but I’ve been craving something sweet the last two days and they’ve just been getting worse cause I haven’t fed it).

I had soaked the oats the night before. Reduced thermogenesis has really kicked given the caloric deficit I’m in. I wore my wool sweater to sleep rolled beneath the duvet that got me through 6 years of Montreal’s cold winters. Getting out of the little blanket oven in the morning, I couldn’t bear the thought of having cold oats for breakfast. I popped them in the microwave … I think it nearly doubled in size! Feelin’ like a winner now: got my raisins and double the  oats. Honestly, it’s probably because I started using a taller / thinner container so visually it appears much more in volume. But I’m happy with whatever makes me feel like I’m getting more out of the food I have got – even if it’s a mere optical illusion. I picked up a smaller spoon than yesterday’s and packed my oatmeal with my lunch to bring to work. Want to be able sustain until lunch without getting too hungry beforehand. I’ll try to hold out eating breakfast as long as I can.

8:45 – small spoon and tall container, feels like it took a lot more bites before I finished this batch of oatmeal! I didn’t notice the hunger until it was time for lunch, but no doubt it was there, I’m just getting a little more used to ignoring it until it gets a little more unbearable.

12:20 – Lunch. Quiche again. Day 3 and third time having Quiche. It’s too much effort and energy to create more variation than I already have done. With $18, there isn’t a whole lot of variety you can get, even with my extensive brainstorming and o.k. culinary skills. Lunch is usually the most exciting part of the day – especially with this gang of colleagues, there’s always conversations about food and cooking, incredibly abundant in details it’s a gastronomic experience on its own. But between the lack of spices and putting out my tupperware next to others in the cafeteria… well, let’s just say, I’d rather eat alone. As soon as i put a fork full into my mouth, no complaints at all. I think it could have been the most bland food, I’d still shovel it in.

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There are grains, and then there are migraines: one is delicious, the other is the lack of deliciousness. By 3’oclock my stomach was grumbling. By 4, it took 6 tries before logging back into my computer; I had trouble remembering the password despite often using it. 4:30, time to go home. I sassed up a little too much over the phone, they had hung up on me – rarely happens… I didn’t want to accommodate my schedule to fit theirs, too hungry. No negotiation (and I’m a middle child, accomodating is almost my middle name): “I can pick you up, but I’m going home right after, I need to eat”. Literally, I did just that. As soon as I had stepped into the door, I was reheating my lentil tomato soup. Popped 1 slice of bread into the toaster, slabbed some margarine on, and threw a lentil patty onto the stove. Dinner’s served. 5 min preparation. I honestly tried to make it last, but it was more like Kirby – I inhaled it all.

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This is not who I am. One can have the best of intentions starting off the morning, but when real hunger kicks in, I’m not my usual self. Lightheadedness, lack of patience and just plain grumpy – and not the cute Snow-White kind of grumpster. Just to add to the frustration, my thoughts and reflexes slow down and I get trouble formulating sentences. Minimal excitement over anything. Completely too tired to care, really.

Thanks to family and friends for being patient around me during this time, cause I sure would not want to live with me if I were like this all day, every day. Leaves me completely in awe of those I’ve met on welfare who put up with this as the norm as they can be so well put together. And as a healthcare professional, it only emphasizes how important it is to pass no judgement on the client or patient. I don’t know you, I have no idea what you are going through on a daily basis, or what it is like to be trying to manage diabetes on top of everything else. Who knows you could have had the worst morning ever and still showed up at the appointment. It is important for us to remember than we work in “health services”; it boils down to the fact that we serve as a resource to provide strategies or therapies to manage disease or promote health.

Nutrient Meal TOTAL Recommended
Breakfast Lunch Dinner Per Meal Per Day
Carbohydrate (g) 52 22 71 145 30 to 60 90 to 120
Protein (g) 6 18 23 47 15 to 20 51.2
Canada’s Food Guide Servings
Vegetables/Fruit 0 1.5 2.5 4 7 to 8
Grains 2 1 1 4 6 to 7
Meat and Alternatives 1 0.5 1 2.5 2
Dairy and Alternatives 0 0 0.5 0.5 2
Added Fat 0 1 1.5 2.5 2 to 3

972kcal (50-60%). As you may have noticed, I splurged on dinner. By the time I had gotten home, I was too hungry. Ate a little too much and a little too fast. Just hoping that I didn’t jeopardize my future meals.

Gym? No thanks. I need to save my energy for work the next day. Steps: 8815.

Off to bed early tonight. Good night.

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